GIGANTIC CORPORATION- Somewhere in CT, 5/2/2007

     The war in Iraq, Homeland Security, the trade deficit, abortion, gay marriage, gas prices, rising crime rates, The VTC’s Web Site. These are some of the most talked about topics in the turbulent, uncertain times we live in. At every water cooler in every office all across America one of the main question on everyone’s minds has been this: When will the VTC update their damn site! Yes we realize the site has not been changed at all since March of 2005. But we have not been ignoring you; rather we’ve been working behind the scenes on upgrading our vast enterprise to help serve you better. In fact we just recently upgraded to a Zeon processor based server. Uh… I mean servers that is uhh room of servers! Yeah that’s it! And besides we were really busy this year, we were gonna update but it just slipped our minds, that’s all… we had a dentists appointment we couldn’t back out of… I didn’t get the memo to do it until it was too late… my grandpa got his arm caught in the microwave… uh…. uh….. ummm… our site designer dropped acid, freaked out, and hijacked a busload of Penguins! I swear! I was driving and my friend opened an umbrella in the back seat, hitting me in the back of the head with it. This shocked me so much I drove off the road and hit a tree, and I just got out of the hospital today. I’m lucky I’m alive! -The server room was filled with rabid dogs and we had to call the army! YOU GOTTA BELIVE ME I SWEAR IT’S ALL TRUE!.............
CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT!...W-W-WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!